I am really struggling with how to pay for medical expenses.  Fortunately, my church is helping me when they can.

I am have very little savings left after having some unpaid layoff days at work along with all of the unpaid days from when I was in the hospital.  Top that with unexpected medical expenses and car repairs, and I am broke.

This month alone I have paid $245 on medical expenses for just me....this includes a counseling appointment, a check up with my psychiatrist and my monthly payment to Tower Bank for my hospital stay last fall.  That doesn't even begin to cover what I am going to have to come up with for prescriptions just for me.  I am trying to spread these out as much as possible without endangering my health or my credit rating.

I just emailed Dave and asked him to help more with the kids' medical expenses.  Our provisional orders state that "respondent (me) shall pay the first $1635 of any uninsured/underinsured healthcare expenses of the children on an annual basis."  

I can not do this with all of the medical bills that I have for myself, and I have told Dave and my lawyer both that today via email.  I tried early on not to have that statement in the provisional orders, but my lawyer has said that since I receive so much child support I can't get out of it.

Since Dave and I have separated, both Amy and Stephen have gone on long-term medications and that I simply can not afford.  Both Heather and Amy have been prescribed over-the counter vitamins that I am still somehow managing to afford.

Dave has blocked me from access in his health savings account for me and the kids, even though the amount in the account is based on a family of 5.  I have asked him to consider that I have access to the GE health savings account for the kids' medical care.  Without that help, they will go without.  My lawyer spent a great deal of unpaid time looking into the legality of my having access to the account for at least me, since technically we are still married.  Unfortunately, she found that the issue of access while separated is a very grey area, and there are no definitive laws or rulings that would help me.

I am really getting scared.  I have no idea how I am going to continue to pay my Tower Bank bill every month on top of regular medical expenses.  Once the divorce is final, which is soon, I will also have to pay for my own health insurance and will have a $3000 deductible.  Simply put, I have long-term chronic physical and mental health issues that can not go untreated or un-medicated.

I keep tithing, and the numbers just don't add up.  Somehow, so far, every month I have managed to pay all the bills.  Dave thinks I am going to take on half of some credit card debt, which my lawyer is fighting.  

What I have in my favor there is that I stayed home full-time 1994-2003.  I made some money freelance writing and teaching at the Y from 2003 on but not very much.  I started working at the high school in 2007 and made $17,000 year.  Last year, since I started my new job in the fall, I made $20,000.  This year I will make $30,000, but it will be more like $25,000 once I take on medical premiums, deductibles, etc.  All the while I stayed home and/or worked low paying part-time jobs, Dave climbed the ladder at GE and at Fort 4 Fitness, and now makes at least $100,000.  Not to mention I have a 13 year old van with 170,000 miles on it that desperately needs replaced.  If this all goes to court, I hope and pray things will fall in my favor.

I need some serious encouragement and prayer.