Tired...weary...exhausted...overwhelmed...these words don't even begin to cover how I am feeling as I am juggling a lot between work and home right now.
Heather is doing a great job of managing her diabetes with glucose testing, insulin shots and carb counting. I, however, continue to be overwhelmed. Poor Dave said it took him three hours just to grocery shop and label-read one week.
At times Heather is understandably very frustrated and angry. She recently said, "Mom, if life had a face I would punch it!"
We went to church Sunday for the first time since her diagnosis. We sat down, and I looked at the sermon notes and said, "I just can't do this." She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "I can't either." I asked her if she wanted to leave and she said yes. We went shopping instead...a little retail therapy...LOL.
She thanked me for being real and honest about my frustration with God about all that has happened to our family. I told her if we can't be real with God, who can we be real with? He can take it.
Dave and I have parented together very well through this, so much so that the nurse at the hospital couldn't believe we were divorced. At the end of the day, we are still the kids' parents, and we know we have to push through our differences for their sake. I am really proud of us for doing so.
Stephen is off at Cedar Campus working as a camp counselor for the summer, and Amy is busy volunteering at the zoo and looking for a summer job. Heather is headed to Y camp for the week next week. The camp staff has been fabulous about making changes to the menu for her and are very reassuring. They have two nurses on staff 24-7, so she is probably in better hands with them than she is at home.
The most difficult part has been arranging childcare/supervision for her. Because she is only 13, her doctor did not want her to be alone for two weeks. Amy has carried most of the burden of that care and is resentful. Wonderful friends from church have helped out, and some of Dave's friends have helped too.
We see her doctor tomorrow for a check up, and I hoping she can be a little more on her own now. This has to be driving her nuts because she has no solitude.
The girls and I are all going to counseling together in a couple of weeks, even though they aren't thrilled about it. We all just need to debrief and have some objective input that our counselor so often provides. She sees solutions when all we see are problems. I am living with two angry and frustrated teenage girls, so I need all the help I can get.
Please continue to pray for our family as we continue to adjust to this new hurdle.