Sunday, September 23, 2012

Back in the ER and Home Again

Woke up early this a.m. and started vomiting non-stop.  Couldn't keep down meds for pain and nausea.  Just as I was getting ready to call a friend to take me back the the ER, she miraculously showed up at my front door to check in on me.  (Thank you Alice!)

So we went back the the ER, and I was given more pain meds and anti-nausea meds via IV.  They sent me home with a colon anti-spasmodic prescription and an anti-nausea prescription.

They still think that I have C. diffcile, a bacterium that can cause symptoms ranging from diarrhea to life-threatening inflammation of the colon.

I am going to try to get in to see my colon doctor Monday.  I also spoke with my asthma specialist, and he is having me take a break from the antibiotic and singular for the asthma for a couple of days.  I will probably go in to see him on Monday too.

I have a doctor's note to stay home from work Monday, and I probably will stay home.  I am very, very tired.  I have been able to keep down clear liquids today and will start a bland diet tomorrow of toast, applesauce, bananas and rice.

I have been surrounded by friends from church, my neighbors and my friends from band.  So I am in good hands.  Dawn, my neighbor, took me to and from the ER Friday and helped me fill my prescriptions.  Alice, my friend from church, took me to the ER today, and Kerry, a friend from band, brought me home and helped me fill my prescriptions today.  

My other neighbors have a daughter, Rachel, who is in band with Amy, and Rachel drove Amy everywhere she needed to go Friday and Saturday.  Heather is with Dave for a day or so.  Then Sunday I will have the girls all week.  Dave can't take them this next week because he is so swamped with directing the Fort-4-Fitness race, which is next Saturday.  My neighbors have all offered meals, have offered to stay with me and have offered to let the girls stay with them in need be.

In spite of everything, I feel so blessed as God continues to provide for me and meet my every need.

Alice is so worried about me, and all that I am going through right now with Amy, facing the kids learning the truth about Dave, the divorce, juggling a new job, etc.....but God has yet to fail me.  Yes, I have seemingly insurmountable obstacles in front of me, but God can leap over them even when I don't think I can.

Friday, September 21, 2012

In the Emergency Room

I ended up in the emergency room today.  Asthma flare is finally calming down, but I was having severe colon spasms.  I had this problem shortly after my colon re-section in June 2011.  The ER doc thinks it is because of all of the antibiotics that I am on.  Apparently, the bad bacteria is outweighing the good bacteria.  

They gave me IV meds for pain and nausea and have advised me to follow up with my colon surgeon on Monday.  The doctor also gave me meds for pain and told me to take some over-the-counter meds to get my colon working correctly.

I tried all day to get in touch with my surgeon, but she and her staff were out of the office.  I finally got in touch with a nurse at the office, and she advised me to head to the ER.  My dear neighbor Dawn took me to the ER even though she was fighting a migraine.

Amy will be at a band competition in South Bend all day tomorrow, and Heather will be with Dave going to the band competition.  I am just going to stay home and rest.

I have been surrounded by all of my friends, and church friends are standing by if I need anything.

I am so exhausted and am in so much pain.  What I really need is an antispasmodic like bentyl, but the ER doctor didn't want to prescribe it.  She also recommended that I stop the antibiotics.

I have tried to keep working all week, but today my boss told me to pack up my stuff and go home.  I don't have any official time off yet, and he is just having me bring in doctor's notes and allowing me to work from home and work a flexible schedule.

In the midst of all of this drama this week, I was able to schedule Amy's first counseling appointment and an appointment with our family doctor to get complete bloodwork done on her.  She is a vegetarian, and although she eats a lot of protein substitutes, I suspect she is lacking in iron and vitamin D, as I was earlier this year.

Please keep praying for our health!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Just when I thought I was doing better, I had a rough night. My doctor called me after viewing my chest x-ray, and even though my lungs are clear, he was concerned that I wasn't doing better by now.  So I went back in, and he prescribed a new antibiotic and another cough syrup and continued nebulizer treatments.  Next step if this doesn't help is a CT sinus scan and blood work. This is costing me a fortune, but God has yet to let me down.  I am sure He will provide!

Amy's first counseling appointment is Tuesday, September 25 at 2 p.m.  Please continue to pray for her, and for me as I coordinate all of this.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Good news--chest xray showed no pneumonia.  Doctor changed and adjusted meds.  I am FINALLY feeling better.  I still sound terrible though.  My neubulizer has become my new best friend.

Dave and I have an appointment this week to talk to his counselor about Amy.  Still trying to get Amy's appointment with her counselor scheduled.

Please continue to pray for us all.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Amy Update

Dave and I had a surprisingly good discussion with Amy tonight.  She realizes that she needs to go to counseling and is willing to go.  She confessed that she was sad before Dave and I split up, and the divorce just made things worse.  I reminded her that clinical depression runs in my family, and that it is not a weakness to accept help or take medicine if needed.

I was fairly open with her a few weeks ago about how depressed I was last winter.  That really paved the way for some good discussion this evening.  I was again reminded that God uses our own suffering to help others...never did I think He would use my struggles with clinical depression to help her.  

He is an amazing God!  Thank you all for your emails, phone calls, texts and prayers.  I have the best friends in the world!

Dave, Amy and I Need Your Prayers!

Dave received a very disturbing phone call from Amy's school today.  A friend of hers anonymously reported to a counselor that Amy was cutting herself.  Amy's counselor then followed up on it.  He called Amy into a meeting, and he asked her to show him her arms.  She refused and stone-walled him for a very long 5 minutes.  He told her they would sit there as long as it took.  Worried about missing class, she finally relented and allowed the school nurse to have a look.  She has 12 old scars, 14 fairly new cuts and 1 really new cut.

Dave and I are, of course, devastated.  We are planning to talk to her tonight while Heather is at church youth group.  Dave has agreed to let Amy come home with me (the girls are with him this week) if she wants and that she can stay as long as she wants.  As I wrote earlier, she has expressed a great desire to be with me full-time.  Dave feels that it doesn't matter who gets the kids when and what is fair between us...and I is not about us.  It is about the kids and what their greatest needs are.  Please, please, please pray for my precious, beautiful girl.  Please pray for wisdom for Dave and I as we talk with her this evening.  

Amy's Color Guard Photo
To top it off, I went to the doctor today, and I am much more ill than I thought.  Right now we are trying to keep me from going into pneumonia.  I received a steroid shot and am taking oral steroids along with singular (a drug for asthma), an antibiotic and am using a nebulizer every four hours.  Please pray for healing.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

I Need Prayer

I need prayers...I am starting to get sick.  It all started Saturday night with a sore throat and then coughing.  Today more coughing, and now I have lost my voice.  I am preparing to race in the Fort-4-Fitness 1/2 marathon ( on September 29, and this is really going to put a kink in my training.

Not only that, I am starting to become very overwhelmed at work.  I am still learning, and my boss says I am doing a good job....but I feel like it takes me forever to handle some of the various processes that I am supposed to be taking over.  My boss, a wonderful Christian, often reminds me, "You must crawl, before you run."

I have a huge presentation to prepare for that is due in about three weeks, and I haven't had much time to work on it.  It requires writing, long-term planning and a lot of thinking....something that I don't often have time for while sitting in the hot-seat of the purchasing desk.  Just today I met with four suppliers and had to handle several hot issues that came up.  I feel like I often don't have time for the "big picture" thinking that this presentation requires.

I am also struggling with juggling a career with being a single mom and being the spiritual leader of our home.  It is so hard to find balance and to take care of myself.  Please pray for me as I walk this tough walk.  My boss, who is also a pastor, reminded me that God is my husband; God is a father to my children; and I am not in this alone.  Pray that I remember that!

On the plus side, Heather was baptized on Sunday by our junior high pastor.  It was awesome to see her take this step of faith.   I love the trusting look that was on her face as Todd baptized her.

Please pray for her as she continues in her journey to follow Christ!  She is such an encouragement to me.  I don't know what I would do without her.

Dave and I are meeting with his counselor on October 6 to discuss his telling the kids that he is gay.  I am going to the meeting not to support Dave, but to learn what he is thinking and what he is expecting from his revealing his story.  

Please continue to bring this issue before God in prayer.  I will need all the help I can get as these events transpire.

Monday, September 3, 2012

It has been a while since I have posted as I have been very busy with my new job.  As a purchasing analyst I am in charge of purchasing and maintaining the stock of many, many items used in the manufacturing plant where I am working.  I am learning about all of the raw materials and developing business relationships with over 50 different suppliers.  

I am learning how to use a huge data base that tracks supplies, work orders and work in progress as I determine whether or not we need to purchase a certain commodity at any given time.  I also am analyzing current suppliers and comparing them with potential suppliers to determine ways to save money.  Soon I will also be working on some grant writing for what my supervisors and I hope will lead to funds for workforce development.  It is a lot of responsibility and my days are very hectic, but I really like it.  

As I look back on the past year, I have been given a new perspective on what I thought was a dry, unproductive spell in my life.  While the year seemed long as I looked and looked for a job, it was during that year I was given time to heal and get back on my feet.  All the time that I thought God was not hearing my pleas for a job, He was using that time to help me recover emotionally, physically and spiritually.  As some of you may recall, I had major colon surgery June 13 of last year; Dave filed for divorce in June; and I moved out mid-July--more than enough stress!

Last year I also had a short work day and was off during all of the kids' holiday breaks, so I was more available to them when they really needed me.  They, too, were adjusting to the the divorce and living between two houses.

Needless to say, a year ago...even six months ago...I was in no shape to take on the work responsibility that I have now.  Now in retrospect I see what God was doing...He had not forgotten me...He did hear my pleas and prayers...He still had me in the palm of His hand.  In my stubborn way I refused to see what He was was if He pushed a "pause" button on my life to give me time to catch my breath.  I have been fervently reminded that "My times are in your (God's) hands..." Psalm 31:15a.

That being said, I have yet another hurdle to overcome.  Dave has decided that he wants the kids to know that he is gay.  I pushed for him to tell them the truth last year, and he refused to do it.  Consequently, Amy blamed me for the divorce and treated me rather brutally.  She has since done a complete turn around, and she has asked to live with me all the time.  She is beginning to see a lot of Dave's flaws, and she is very frustrated with him.  While I would welcome her, I don't think being with me full time is in her best interest....her relationship with Dave is a very important one, and she doesn't realize that right now.

Dave and I have an appointment on October 6 with his counselor to discuss the best way to handle this situation.  I was afraid he was going to push to tell them right before Stephen left for IU-Bloomington in August, and I didn't want him to drop that on Stephen at that time.  Then Dave discussed Christmas as an option, but I didn't think that was a good time either.  I am pushing for the week of Thanksgiving...the kids will all be with me that week, and Stephen has the entire week off.

Dave's reasons for wanting to tell them is as he says, "I am ready to move on with my life."  When I asked him if it meant he would be bringing home people for the kids to meet, he said, "Yes."  Gay or not, I don't think the kids should be exposed to our significant others until things are pretty serious.  I cautioned Dave about this and asked that he not parade all of his "first dates" in front of the kids.

I am sick with worry about how this is going to affect this kids.  I have no way of preparing them for this, except to cover them in prayer...which I am doing daily.  Please, please, please be in prayer for my beloved children...that God would protect them and their relationship with Dave.  Regardless of his sexual orientation, he is still their father.  

And somehow in this mess, I must be their mother.